There is another thing that gives me a lot of anxiety. For 12 years I worked in the flower shop and was a floral designer and now when some of my friends or some of my family get married they always come to me first to see if I can do the flowers for their wedding. It’s just me, it’s only me, I don’t have a crew of people like a normal flower shop would so I always try to tell them that I’m limited on my resources. I can’t do big huge weddings, they have to be small and thank goodness most of them are. I get I have an account at a wholesaler so I can get flowers at wholesale prices which helps cut down the cost of my friends and families flowers and I don’t charge them what a normal flower shop would charge them. I just take a little bit extra for me and my time and effort so it’s always cheaper for them to go through me but it gives me so much anxiety. I have another friend that runs a photo booth so sometimes we offer our services in a package price if we both know the bride but with this particular wedding the bride had already paid a deposit to another company. Anyways, One of my friends is getting married in about a month and 1/2. I have all of the flowers ordered and all of the supplies for it. she is taking care of the centerpieces. They’re just gonna be pictures and candles. The only things that I need to worry about are the boutonniere’s for the boys and the bouquets for the girls, throw bouquet, some other decorations and some flowers for the cake table, the gift table maybe an hors d’oeuvres table. I know that I’m a good designer and I know deep down that she’s going to love the flowers that I do but that doesn’t stop me from having extreme anxiety over whether she will really like them or is just going to tell me that she likes them. I probably won’t be able to sleep the week before the wedding. I’m sure I’ll wake up at 4:45 every morning freaking out about the flowers. Whether they’re gonna come in right, whether I’m gonna be able to do what I want to do, whether or not she’s gonna actually like them, whether or not the guest at the party are gonna like them and the real bummer is if everybody doesn’t like them and people know that I’m the one who did the flowers, people come up to me all night long and tell me how much they love the flowers and it’s just way too much attention for me. Sometimes I want people to like the things that I do but I don’t want them to tell me that they like the things that I do. One of my best friends sister got married a couple years ago and this was the biggest wedding that I did. She had huge centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, table decorations. The whole works it was seriously the biggest wedding I’ve ever done and I’ve never had more anxiety before a wedding but fortunately everything turned out great. Unfortunately everybody came up to me through the whole reception and kept telling me how beautiful everything was and that I did such a great job. Complete strangers coming up to me and was like oh you did the flowers?… they’re so beautiful you’re so talented it was a love-hate thing. I hated it but I loved it at the same time. I hated all of the attention but it made me feel real good to know that people love my flowers.
That’s another thing, I only do flowers for people that I know so I always go to the wedding. I would’ve gone to the wedding anyways but being the floral designer who did all the flowers and going to the wedding is such an extreme anxiety ridden experience for me. It really bums me out when someone doesn’t like it. People usually do end up liking the flowers and the funny thing is I probably would never do flowers for a wedding of somebody who was a stranger. That would just be way too much pressure.
So now I have a month and 1/2 left until my friends wedding. I have a good feeling about it but I always have a good feeling this far out. Once we start hitting the days that are closer to the wedding, then I’m gonna start freaking out about it. I know logically that I’m a good designer and everything is going to be great but….I don’t know. I can’t convince myself of that until the wedding is done. So for all of you that are reading this blog please send happy thoughts my way and hope that the flowers are gonna be great and I’ll let you all know how it goes afterwords. Thanks for reading I hope you guys stick around.